Man Risks Gallows For $36 Worth Of Soggy Nuggets

In a country where drug trafficking earns you a state-sponsored neck-stretching, one local visionary has decided that two McFlurries are worth a lifetime of regret.

A Sembawang resident was left “hungry and angry” after a thief decided to treat her HDB corridor like a free-for-all McDonald’s buffet.

“I thought Singapore safe sia, then this cibai just walk away with my McSpicy like he own the place,” the victim screamed while clutching her CCTV footage like a sacred relic.

The Singapore Police Force has reportedly paused all major white-collar crime investigations to hunt down the man responsible for this $36.70 culinary heist.

Sources say the suspect is currently hiding in a dark alley, desperately trying to finish a melted sundae before the Gurkha Contingent breaches his door.