Lorry Owners Fined For Refusing To Castrate Their Vehicles’ Speed

The Traffic Police caught 66 lorry owners who still possess the anti-social desire to reach their destination before sunset.

Two owners were hauled to court for allowing their lorries to travel faster than a junior staff member’s career progression.

“We cannot have these 12,000kg steel coffins moving efficiently through our streets,” stated one official while salivating over a $10,000 fine.

Insurers have joined the party, promising to reject claims if a vehicle has any engine capability beyond a vibrating dildo.

Motorists are urged to be patient while these neutered lorries block three lanes of the PIE at 50km/h.

Remember, if you reach your destination on time, you are probably a fucking criminal.