Local Women Abandon Families To Thirst Over Seven Men Dancing In Seoul

The Singaporean economy has ground to a halt following news that BTS successfully survived two years of folding blankets to perform in Seoul.

National productivity has plummeted as thousands of local women collectively forgot they had husbands, children, or basic human dignity.

“My son got exam but who cares? Jungkook is back!” screamed 45-year-old administrative manager, Linda Low.

“Leader RM hurt his ankle leh! So poor thing, I must fly there to be his personal crutch. My husband can go eat grass, I don’t care already.”

Authorities have declared a national emergency as the “BTS Army” prepares to liquidate their life savings for limited-edition toothbrushes and “Arirang” themed lightsticks.