Local Woman Wipes Chanel Bag More Frequently Than Own Child

A local socialite has been spotted meticulously sanitising her Hermès Kelly with $45 premium wipes while her toddler roams a playground with a dangerously sagging diaper.

“The bag is a 9/10 investment, but the baby is a 2/10 liability,” explained 32-year-old Cheryl Lim, who refuses to let human oils ruin her pebble-grained calfskin.

“If my Chanel gets a wine stain, I will literally jump off a building. But if my son falls down, he will just heal for free what. No need to go bag spa.”

Experts confirm that Singaporeans now value the pH balance of dead cowhide over the basic hygiene of their descendants.

“KNN, you think $2.25 per wipe is expensive? My dignity is more expensive!” she screamed.