Local Playboy Receives Seven Stitches Instead Of Seven Bitches

In a heartwarming display of Gen Z community service, a 17-year-old "playboy" was treated to a complimentary nap in a Boat Quay back alley after failing the loyalty standards of the local secondary school mafia.

The victim, who reportedly believed he was the main character in a Mediacorp drama, was blindsided by a fashion-forward assailant in pink pants who applied a rear-naked choke more effective than any O-Level study session.

“He think he very *steady* ah, talking to so many girls behind my friend back,” remarked one 14-year-old witness while recording the incident for TikTok clout.

“Now his chin got seven stitches but still no girlfriend, *knn* so pathetic,” she added.

Police arrested the four teenagers for rioting, proving that true "loyalty" is best defended by four-on-one assaults in smelly alleyways.

The victim is currently recovering, though his "playboy" status remains permanently unconscious.