Local P5 Student Suffers Massive ‘Crash Out’ Over 98% Grade

The Ministry of Education has confirmed that local student, Ethan Tan, reached his scheduled expiry date after scoring a ‘disgraceful’ 98% in Mathematics.

Witnesses report the boy began vibrating at a frequency only detectable by tuition centre owners before violently projectile-vomiting a slurry of Brand’s Essence of Chicken and ink.

"He just suddenly scream 'LIMPEH NO MORE' and start eating the Casio calculator sia," remarked a traumatised classmate.

“I thought he was doing mental sums, but he was actually just reciting the periodic table in reverse to summon his ancestors for help.”

Ethan’s mother, clutching a cane and a remedial schedule, expressed her profound disappointment at the timing of the public breakdown.

"Wah lau, crash out also must wait until after Prelims mah, now my tuition deposit burn already," she complained while browsing for a more durable replacement child.

MOE officials reassured parents that spontaneous mental breakdowns are now a non-examinable component of the 2024 syllabus.