Local Man Experiences Three-Second Orgasm After QR Scanning $10 Voucher

The Singapore government has once again blessed the peasantry with CDC vouchers, initiating the biennial Hunger Games of heartland discounts.

This massive wealth injection is expected to last exactly as long as a single order of "seasonal price" pomfret.

Economists claim the handout is the fiscal equivalent of applying a Hello Kitty plaster to a severed femoral artery.

"Eh, I finally can afford to add one extra egg to my Maggi Goreng without crying!" screamed local resident Lim Kopi.

"Last time I eat caifan I feel like beggar, now I scan the QR and I feel like Sultan for five minutes, sibeh shiok!"

The vouchers are vital for maintaining the illusion that the middle class isn't currently being digested by inflation.

Citizens are reminded that vouchers cannot be traded for dignity, though most have already sold that for bubble tea.