Local Man Devastated After Losing Chope War To 30 Eggs

In a brutal escalation of Singapore’s territorial warfare, a local diner was left wandering Haig Road Market like a lost soul after being tactically outmanoeuvred by a tray of Grade A eggs.

While ordinary citizens rely on pathetic 20-cent tissue packs to claim territory, stallholders have upgraded to "Industrial Choping," deploying crates of vegetables and stacks of chicken rice paper to annex public seating.

“I arrived with my ValuDollar tissues ready to strike, but the table already had thirty eggs sitting there,” complained 44-year-old Tan Ah Kow.

“Liddat how to fight? The eggs don’t even have a job, why they get to sit down? Fucking cb, NEA please come and arrest the eggs lah!”

Authorities are currently investigating if the eggs have a valid permit to occupy prime real estate.