Local Man Contemplates Self-Amputation After Receiving Fucking ICT Call-Up Notice

Terence Lim, a high-flying Fintech executive, spent his morning Google-searching "how to safely break own femur" after receiving a dreaded SMS from MINDEF.

The notification for a 14-day ICT stint has reduced the 32-year-old to a shivering puddle of "chao keng" desperation.

"Siao eh, I rather go jail than go back stay-in and smell ten guys’ sweaty kopek in one bunk," Lim shrieked while mourning his lost dignity.

Medical officers expect a 400% surge in sudden-onset "chronic back pain" as the unit’s fat warriors prepare to cosplay as soldiers.

"Every year same pattern, all these uncles come back only know how to find canteen and find lobang to keng MC," remarked MSG Koh.

Lim was last seen trying to swallow a rusted nail to induce a medical emergency before his MOB-manning begins.

Lim’s wife confirms he has spent three hours crying in his old No. 4 uniform, which currently fits him like a sausage casing.