Local Hero Hailed For Telling Chatty Cinema Couple To STFU

A local man has been hailed as a national treasure after heroically telling a chatty couple to “shut the fuck up” during a late-night screening of Project Hail Mary.

The couple, who apparently mistook Shaw Theatres for their own shitty bedroom, were reportedly “softly discussing” why they were too brain-dead to follow the movie’s plot.

Shocked by the sudden encounter with a man possessing actual testicles, the pair immediately ran to STOMP to cry about their shattered feelings.

“I was damned shocked,” claimed the boyfriend, who is clearly more accustomed to being pegged than being confronted by an adult.

Shaw Theatres is reportedly considering replacing all "No Smoking" signs with high-definition pictures of the man’s middle finger.