Local Couple Hospitalized After Accidental Exposure To Color Not Found In Muji

Singapore’s national identity of living inside a giant, overpriced cardboard box is under threat as “dopamine decor” infiltrates neutral households.

Homeowners are reportedly suffering from acute vertigo after attempting to pair a red chair with a green rug without a written permit from the aesthetic police.

“Wah lau, I see my friend put one yellow beam on her ceiling, I almost faint—too much excitement for my life, leh,” complained local minimalist Lim Kopi.

Interior designers claim that adding a “statement piece” is the only way for Singaporeans to pretend they aren't slowly evolving into sentient pieces of IKEA plywood.

Citizens are reminded that any color brighter than “expired oatmeal” may result in neighbors reporting your unit for public indecency.