Kodaline Farewell Tour To Remind Singaporeans They Weren’t Already Dead

Irish indie-rock quartet Kodaline has announced a farewell tour, finally ending the decade-long mystery of whether they were actually still a band.

The group, famous for making music that sounds like a depressed golden retriever, will perform at The Star Theatre this August.

Promoters expect a crowd of millennials eager to relive the three weeks in 2013 when they actually had a personality.

"I thought they disband already sia," said local office worker Jordon Teo.

"I just want to hear 'All I Want' once, cry like a bitch, and then go home sleep."

The band’s final album is expected to become the primary soundtrack for overpriced sourdough cafe TikToks.