Johor Thieves Ransom Dead Dad Since Living Ones Are Broke

In a move proving Johor’s economy is officially in the toilet, local syndicates have transitioned from stealing car parts to kidnapping the deceased for ransom.

Over 50 families are currently negotiating with "Ghost-nappers" who realised that dead parents are easier to manage than living ones since they don't scream or eat.

"Walao eh, last time they steal my car, now they steal my father," lamented one victim.

"Knn, at least the car got insurance, but how to claim insurance for my father’s dust?"

"The thief message me say if no pay money, my father going into the longkang tonight."

Authorities suspect an inside job, mostly because security guards were likely too busy napping to notice fifty jars of human remains leaving the premises.

This new business model proves that in Boleh-land, even being dead is now a liability.