James Tolkan Dies: Still Fucking Hates All You Lazy Slackers

James Tolkan, the man who spent 94 years successfully bullying Michael J. Fox for a living, has finally kicked the bucket.

Local Discipline Masters and SAF enciks are reportedly inconsolable, having lost their primary source of professional and erotic inspiration.

Sources say Tolkan’s heart finally gave out after witnessing a single Gen Z intern in Singapore take a 15-minute “mental health break” to film a TikTok.

Before passing, he reportedly looked at his lead surgeon and whispered, “Your ego is writing cheques your fragile body can’t cash, you absolute slacker.”

Even in the afterlife, Tolkan is expected to continue his legacy by giving tardy slips to any soul that doesn't reach the Pearly Gates in under three minutes.

Rest in peace, you glorious, bald, rule-obsessed bastard.