Jack Neo announces 2027 plan to culturally waterboard all Singaporeans

Filmmaker Jack Neo has officially confirmed his lifelong commitment to testing Singapore’s collective sanity by announcing “Ah Boys To Firemen” for a 2027 release.

The $3 million production will feature the same recycled plot of a lazy recruit discovering courage, likely via a montage set to an ear-bleeding rap song.

Industry insiders suggest Neo won't stop until he has successfully fetishised every single public service uniform in the republic.

“Actually, I just want to see how many more times I can sell the exact same script to Sinkies,” Neo’s inner monologue probably whispered.

“Liddat also can meh?” asked local resident Jenson Lim.

“Every CNY he torture us with 50 product placements and same joke. Next time what? Ah Boys To Town Council? Steady lah.”