HDB Prices Drop 0.1%, Sinkies Still Can’t Fucking Afford Anything

Singaporeans are "ecstatic" after HDB resale prices plummeted by a staggering 0.1%, finally allowing them to afford the hallway of a 3-room flat in Yishun.

This monumental correction means instead of paying $1.2 million for a refurbished pigeon hole, you now only pay $1,198,800 and your firstborn’s soul.

Property agents are reportedly on suicide watch, weeping over the loss of a single GrabFood delivery’s worth of commission.

Young couples are rushing to the HDB website, only to realize they are still $800,000 short and will likely die in their parents' storeroom.

"It's a buyer's market," said one optimistic Sinkie while staring at a bank balance that wouldn't even cover the administrative fee.