Hachette Cancels Horror Novel Because Even Robots Can’t Fix Shitty Writing

Global publisher Hachette has spiked the horror novel Shy Girl after suspecting the author’s primary writing tool was a prompt window and a lack of self-respect.

The decision came after readers flagged the book as “AI slop,” noting that the protagonist’s inner monologue felt suspiciously like a microwave manual translated into Swahili.

Author Mia Ballard blamed a “rogue acquaintance,” though critics argue the real horror was expecting anyone to pay for a story a robot shat out in six seconds.

Local writers are now sweating, fearing that publishers might start requiring proof of a human pulse before offering contracts.

“Wah lau, if must write myself then very cham lor,” said local novelist Darren Ng.

“I already prompt ChatGPT to make me the next Catherine Lim, how to refund my subscription now?”