Grab Rebrands ‘Because We Fucking Can’ Fee As Fuel Surcharge

In a masterclass of corporate gaslighting, Grab has announced it will rename its "Driver Fee" to "Fuel Surcharge," because the term "Greed Tax" was deemed too honest for the marketing department.

From April, passengers will be extorted for an extra $0.90 per trip, ensuring a 2km ride to the mall costs more than a black-market kidney.

Grab claims 100% of this fee goes to drivers to help them pay for the therapy required to endure passengers who complain about a 40-cent increase for twenty minutes.

The company also announced a $1.1 million support package, which reportedly consists of high-fives and "thoughts and prayers" sent via automated push notifications.

"We know fuel is expensive," said one executive. "That’s why we’re making you pay for it while we continue taking a 20% cut of our drivers' souls."