Gambling King Finds Out The House Always Fucking Wins

Lin Pingwen, the legendary "Billion-Dollar Gambling King," has finally achieved the ultimate tax-exempt status following a surprise lead-injection therapy session in Sihanoukville.

Despite years of laundering billions and fixing professional baseball games, Lin reportedly forgot to bet on the outcome of his own sudden-death playoff against a Cambodian hitman.

Interpol experts suggest that while Lin was world-class at hiding illicit cash, his ability to hide from people with basic ballistic equipment was "highly disappointing."

"Wah lau, money win so much but body cannot take one bullet, what for?" asked one local punter while checking 4D results.

"Now he go down there fix games for the Devil, sibei cham, but at least no need to pay bail anymore."