FairPrice allows Sinkies to postpone starvation for twelve weeks

The FairPrice Group has magnanimously decided to lower the cost of its generic sludge, allowing Singaporeans to survive the impending economic apocalypse for another three months.

The "Best Sellers for Less" campaign ensures that citizens can buy enough frozen processed nuggets to finally drown out the sound of their own empty stomachs.

Management confirmed that the 36 per cent discount is a temporary reward for Sinkies who have successfully developed a taste for cardboard-flavoured rice.

"Wah lau, only 12 weeks ah?" remarked one disgruntled shopper clutching a bag of house-brand salt.

"After that then what, I eat air and drink NewWater is it? So bloody ‘Fair’ lor!"

A corporate spokesperson noted that keeping essentials affordable is a priority, provided customers don't mind the "slight metallic aftertaste" of desperate poverty.