Drunk Sinkie Lorry Driver Arrested For Aggressive Taxi Mating

In a stunning display of midday multitasking, a 53-year-old worker from a Geylang construction firm was arrested after his lorry developed an intimate physical attraction to a Trans-Cab taxi.

The driver was reportedly attempting to perform a high-speed structural integrity test on the taxi’s rear end while fueled by enough fermented juice to kill an elephant.

Police arrived at Bendemeer Road to find the lorry’s front end looking flatter than a neglected roti prata.

"I see the lorry zig-zag then 'boom' like National Day firework sia," remarked one onlooker.

The worker is currently being questioned, though he insists he was simply trying to merge his company with Trans-Cab to create a transport monopoly.