DHL 'Mass Retrenchment' Affects Entire Three-Man Table At Koufu

DHL Global Forwarding Singapore has successfully “delivered” three staff members straight to the nearest CPF building.

The logistics giant called the move a “March retrenchment,” because apparently, firing three random guys requires a fucking press release and a union meeting.

A spokesperson confirmed the decision was based on “merit,” which is corporate Singlish for “we finally checked who takes the longest shit at Changi South.”

The SMMWU Union is providing support, which mostly involves nodding while the victims realize their payout is barely enough for two weeks of premium cai fan.

With 31 job openings still listed, DHL proved that while they can’t find your Shopee parcel, they’re world-class at finding the exit door.