Desperate Sinkies Buy Expensive Machines To Fight God’s Humid Wrath

In a nation where the air is ninety-nine percent soup, Singaporeans are now spending thousands on high-tech "dehumidifiers" to pretend they don’t live in a vertical swamp.

These optimistic citizens are shelling out for thirty-litre tanks, hoping to drain the atmosphere before the local mold claims their entire designer wardrobe and personality.

One local worker, currently emptying his fifth bucket of the morning, was seen shouting at a passing cloud in a fit of damp rage.

"Liddat also cannot," the worker lamented. "I buy the expensive one but the air still feel like laksa broth. My room so dry my skin peeling, but the machine still say eighty percent humidity. Siao liao!"

Experts suggest that if this trend continues, the entire island might eventually float away once it becomes lighter than the surrounding moisture.