D1 Cheater Chokes Teen To Eliminate Rival Playboy Competition

In a stunning display of professional gatekeeping, a local “D1 Cheater” has been arrested for violently suppressing an upcoming competitor in the Boat Quay dating market.

The assailant, famously known for his pink pants and a body count higher than his IQ, allegedly choked a 17-year-old into a seizure to protect his shrinking market share.

Witnesses claim the victim was accused of "playboy behavior," a crime punishable by immediate dental restructuring in the Circular Road jurisdiction.

"Liddat also can? That pink pants guy say he cheat seven times already then now want to be moral police for what?" asked one confused bystander.

"He say don't play with him, but now the other boy also don't have teeth to play anymore, KNN."

The Singapore Police Force confirmed the arrests, noting that while serial infidelity is a valid lifestyle choice, turning someone’s jaw into a jigsaw puzzle remains frowned upon.