Couple Jailed For Pretending Singapore Is A Shithole With Crime

A visionary foreign couple has been sentenced to jail for attempting to LARP as crime victims in a country where the most violent incident is usually a boomer shouting at a bus driver.

Hewa Sahabanduge and his wife decided that paying customs duties back home was for suckers, so they fabricated a traumatic snatch theft in Bugis involving $21,000 in "stolen" gold.

The pair apparently missed the memo that Singapore has more CCTV cameras than citizens, making their heist story as convincing as a TikTok influencer’s apology video.

When the SPF got suspicious, the duo panicked and hid their gold chains inside bottles of carrot juice at Changi Airport.

Authorities confirmed the juice provided excellent nutrition but failed to cure the couple’s chronic stupidity.

They will now enjoy a multi-month staycation at Changi Prison, which is significantly more expensive than just paying the fucking customs tax.