City Square Mall Spends $50M To Decorate With Literal Trash

City Square Mall has finally unveiled its $50 million facelift, proving that if you have enough capital, you can make a hoarding disorder look like a “commitment to sustainability.”

The management proudly showcased feature walls made of recycled PET bottles and bamboo chopsticks, finally giving shoppers the privilege of leaning against someone else’s discarded dinner.

The debut of mascot “Eco Mama” is a stroke of genius, effectively personifying the judgmental nag of a mother you were trying to escape by going to the mall in the first place.

By rebranding as a “third place,” the mall provides a vital sanctuary for Singaporeans who are tired of being depressed at home and exhausted from being exploited at work.

Visitors can even enjoy one hour of free parking, which is just enough time to enter the building, smell the recycled milk bottles, and leave.

The mall also broke a record for the largest sequin art display, because $50 million can buy anything except an actual personality.