Chuck Norris Dead: Sinkies Fear Death Has Gained Confidence

The universe is reeling after Chuck Norris reportedly allowed his heart to stop just to see what the afterlife’s manager looks like.

Sinkies are currently hyperventilating, terrified that the Grim Reaper, emboldened by finally bagging the man who could squeeze orange juice out of a lemon, will now target easier prey in Toa Payoh.

The martial arts icon’s departure has triggered a national security crisis, as the government admits Norris was Singapore’s primary deterrent against a literal alien invasion.

"Walao eh, if Chuck Norris also can up lorry, then we all finish liao lor," lamented local gym-goer, Bryan Teo.

"I thought his beard was the only thing protecting us from the sun; now everything confirm rabak!"