Christian Bale Warns Sinkies Meeting Him Is More Disappointing Than BTO Delays

Hollywood fraud Christian Bale has warned Singaporeans that meeting him is a “terrible disappointment,” failing to realize that Sinkies are already experts at being let down by everything from the MRT to their own children’s PSLE results.

Bale claimed he is only “heroic” in movies, a sentiment shared by every Singaporean husband who tells his wife he’s “clearing emails” while actually watching predatory gambling streams in the toilet.

The actor admitted to leading mass screaming sessions on set to release stress, which the government will likely rebrand as a “National Resilience Vocalisation Exercise” to avoid providing actual mental health support.

“Don’t meet your heroes,” Bale cautioned, unaware that for a population paying $150,000 for a Toyota Corolla, a moody British actor is actually a massive upgrade.

Local fans confirmed they would still queue six hours for a photo, mostly to make their secondary school enemies feel inferior on Instagram.