BTS Tops Billboard Post-Army While You Still Fail Your IPPT

BTS secured another No. 1 album, proving a military hiatus can't stop these moisturised gods from printing money.

Meanwhile, the average Singaporean man still uses his NS stint as an excuse for why he is thirty and still sleeping in his childhood bedroom.

While BTS emerged from the barracks looking like dolls, you emerged from Tekong with a back injury and a personality consisting of complaining about cookhouse fish.

Post-military success clearly requires an army of teenagers willing to buy seven versions of the same plastic disc just to see your collarbone.

If you spent half the energy these boys spend on eyeliner on your career, your boss might stop calling you a useless temp.