BTS comeback renders 4 million Singaporean men completely invisible

As Seoul initiates a military-grade lockdown for the BTS comeback, thousands of Singaporean women have reportedly abandoned their families to form a human chain across the South China Sea.

Local sociologists confirm the K-pop group’s return has triggered a "Level Black" thirst emergency, causing a nationwide shortage of moisturisers and dignity.

"My husband? Who is that? I only know Jimin," said 45-year-old Serene Lim, while listing her wedding ring on Carousell to afford a Netflix-ready 8K television.

"Don't disturb me can or not? My 'Oppa' coming back already, my heart pain like siao," she added.

Experts warn that the group’s "trillion-won" economic impact mainly consists of Singaporean aunties liquidating their life savings to buy glowing plastic sticks.