Boomers Realise Exploiting Gen Z On TikTok Easier Than Retiring

Local seniors have abandoned the traditional pastime of judging youth from afar to pursue the more lucrative hobby of harvesting Gen Z’s pocket money through TikTok.

52-year-old David Peh discovered that by drawing temporary squiggles on teenagers’ skin, he can successfully charge them $35 for something that will disappear faster than their attention spans.

“The uncle give me life advice while drawing a shark on my arm, damn touching sia,” said one local polytechnic student while handing over her savings.

“Then he take my cash and I realise I got no money for dinner, lan jiao, I kena scam by a strawberry-scented grandpa.”

Meanwhile, 70-year-old entrepreneurs are pivotally marketing 'silk peptides' to convince middle-aged women that rubbing expensive worm spit on their faces will somehow prevent them from looking like a dried prune.

Experts confirm that 'late blooming' is simply a polite term for boomers finally figuring out how to use an iPad to colonise the digital economy.