Blue-Blooded Horseshoe Crabs Sued for Not Having Pink IC

The Singapore government has officially classified the horseshoe crab as the nation’s only true "blue-blooded" aristocracy.

These prehistoric sycophants have spent 450 million years successfully avoiding evolution, much like the average middle-manager at a local Statutory Board.

"Wah lau, their blood so blue but they never even serve NS?" complained local resident, Lim Ah Seng.

Biomedical firms have intensified harvesting, claiming the crabs’ copper-based blood is the only thing more sterile than a Friday night in Jurong East.

"I tell you ah, these crabs damn lucky one, stay Sungei Buloh no need pay ERP," noted birdwatcher Tan Bee Bee.

Authorities are considering giving the crabs priority seating on the MRT, provided they don’t accidentally skewer a commuter with their spikey tails.

Scientists confirmed that despite their ancient lineage, the crabs still lack the basic intelligence to avoid being fried into a spicy sambal mess.