Aunties Shocked To Learn "Royal Secret" Was Just A Fucking Exit Scam

Royal Secrets Wellness has finally revealed that its "Royal Secret" was a massive exit scam that drained $1.045 million from Singapore’s most gullible aunties.

The beauty salon successfully achieved total wellness for its owner by suddenly closing and disappearing with enough prepayments to fund a luxury retirement.

"I pay fifty thousand for V-shape face, but now I only see L-shape for 'Losing money' loh," lamented Mdm Tan, whose skin remains as leathery as a Pasar Malam handbag.

The Consumers Association of Singapore (CASE) has responded with its signature move of expressing "deep concern" while effectively doing absolutely nothing.

Authorities are currently investigating how 137 people were simultaneously stupid enough to pay for 500 years of massages upfront.