92 Cats Seeking New Shelter That Isn’t A Financial Fucking Disaster

Voices for Animals (VFA) has heroically stepped in to rescue 92 cats from Animal Lovers League (ALL), after the latter discovered that “passion for pets” is not a legally binding substitute for paying $800,000 in rent and vet bills.

As the felines prepare for their mass migration on March 27, VFA founder Derrick Tan is frantically begging the public for tofu cat litter before his facility is submerged under a literal tsunami of feline excrement.

“Eh, 92 cats is no joke sia,” one volunteer remarked while weeping into a bag of Kibbles.

“One day only and the whole place will smell worse than a Jurong East longkang in the afternoon sun,” she added.

“If nobody donate litter soon, we are all going to drown in cat shit, I tell you.”

The evicted cats expressed relief that their next home might actually have a valid tenancy agreement and fewer bailiffs.