33-Year-Old Driver Arrested For Speedrunning Auntie’s Natural Death

A 33-year-old local pioneer has been arrested for providing a high-velocity, unsolicited retirement package to a 74-year-old pedestrian in Ang Mo Kio.

The driver allegedly decided that seven decades of living was more than enough and used his sedan as a disruptive tool for population management.

Police claim the act was "careless driving," but insiders suggest the man was merely trying to save the victim from the upcoming boredom of her late seventies.

The 74-year-old was conveyed unconscious to the hospital, where she successfully completed her transition to the afterlife significantly ahead of schedule.

The man remains in custody, presumably for being too efficient at urban renewal.

"Honestly, she was just crossing the road too slowly for the 21st century," noted one passerby.