14,000 Sinkies Deluded Into Thinking Their "Long Island" Feedback Matters

The Urban Redevelopment Authority (URA) expressed genuine amusement today after 14,000 Singaporeans submitted "feedback" for a project that was signed, sealed, and delivered back in 2019.

Government officials described the public engagement process as "highly successful," mostly because the sheer volume of paper collected will provide enough physical insulation to protect the coastline from rising sea levels.

"We read every single suggestion," lied one spokesperson, while skillfully folding a resident’s heartfelt plea for bird-friendly nature trails into a paper crane.

The 800-hectare project will proceed exactly as planned, featuring all the luxury waterfront amenities that the 14,000 middle-class contributors definitely cannot afford.

Authorities reassured the public that while the climate is changing, the government’s ability to ignore commoners remains world-class.