1,000kW Hypercar Ready To Go Nowhere Fast On The PIE

Singapore has welcomed the Nio EP9, a 1,000kW electric beast capable of shattering track records while doing absolutely nothing at a red light.

The 1,341hp hypercar will allow owners to reach the exact same traffic jam as a 10-year-old Toyota Corolla, but with much more ego.

"Wah lau, this car can go 0 to 100 in two seconds, perfect for catching the back of the bus lane," said enthusiast, Tan Ah Kow.

"Every time I rev, I feel my money disappearing faster than my dignity in a KPE jam, sibeh solid."

Meanwhile, the $350,000 Denza SUV features mountain-climbing technology specifically engineered for the treacherous "impossibly steep" incline of the Takashimaya carpark ramp.