100,000 Adults Sob Violently Because Korean Man Sat In A Chair

The global K-pop community was thrown into a state of hysterical mourning this week as BTS leader RM heroically survived a mild ankle sprain to sit in a designer chair for an hour.

While the group performed their “Arirang” comeback at Gwanghwamun Square, millions of fans worldwide reportedly forgot how to function, mistaking a standard pop concert for a religious second coming.

In Singapore, local fans were seen clutching their lightsticks and sobbing at their Netflix screens, despite not understanding 95% of the Korean lyrics.

“Eh, you don't know ah, RM sitting down also got more ‘feel’ than my husband standing up for twenty years,” said 34-year-old fan Mavis Tan.

“When he hop on one leg during the song, my heart also hop... then I remember I haven't pay my Town Council bill, but nevermind, Oppa is more important.”

Authorities in Seoul deployed 6,000 police officers to prevent a riot, though most were actually there to ensure fans didn't try to lick the pavement after the members walked on it.

The show ended with a QR code for a documentary, ensuring that fans remain indentured servants to the BigHit corporate machine until at least 2035.